


Why Fit in When You Were Born to Stand Out

by madhattermax



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Autistic Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has ADHD (Good Omens), Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25786294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madhattermax/pseuds/madhattermax
Summary: Aziraphale discovers Tumblr, as a way to better understand humans, and learns a little bit about himself and Crowley in the process.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Why Fit in When You Were Born to Stand Out

Aziraphale shuts down his computer and makes his way to the sofa where Crowley is lying down, playing on his phone. Aziraphale touches Crowley’s shoulder in a way that has long been established between the two husbands, to indicate that Aziraphale wished to sit there. Crowley shifts towards an upwards position, and Aziraphale slides into place but then eases Crowley back down so that his husband’s head is in his lap. Aziraphale starts playing with Crowley’s shoulder-length hair.

“Crowley, my love, I was wondering if I might have your attention,” inquires Aziraphale.

Crowley switches off social media and begins playing solitaire. Aziraphale understands that Crowley can focus better if he’s playing a game like this. It keeps the demon’s hands and the part of his mind that gets bored, busy. “What is it, Angel? I’m all ears.”

“I’ve been doing some research,” begins Aziraphale. The angel continues to fuss with Crowley’s hair while he talks. “Well, eventually, I did research. First, I did some reading on social media. That blogging site you’re always talking about… Tumblr. I made an account. I feel it’s a good way to get to know the younger humans in this time period and there, and to find out ways to help. There are also quite a few interesting original works of fiction there. Short stories, as you pointed out to me. But while doing some reading of blogs in general, I kept coming across some terms and descriptions that really spoke to me, and I wanted to talk to you about them.”

Crowley glances up at the angel. “If it’s a term on Tumblr, it could really be anything.” He goes back to playing solitaire.

“Oh, I’ve noticed that. Anyway, I found myself researching the terms, and then going back to Tumblr in search of first-hand accounts. And it all clicks.”

“What clicks?” asks the demon, not looking up.

“We’re both what is called Neurodivergent,” answers the angel with confidence.

Crowley sits up at this and turns so he can look Aziraphale in the eye. “Can an angel and demon really be neurodivergent, though?”

“I think so,” responds the angel. “Me being Autistic explains why I see the world differently than other angels do. I always have, which is why I was assigned the Eastern Gate. It also explains why I thrive in solitude, though I have made you my person, and I welcome your company. It also explains why I had so much difficulty understanding and responding to your feelings at first. I knew for a long time how you felt about me, and never quite knew how to respond. It took me a long time to catch up with you there. Then, of course, there is my resistance to changes in routine. I’m so set in my ways. Then there are the little things, like how I stim.”

“Stim?” interrupts Crowley.

“Seek out stimulation in ways that are rhythmic and repetitive. Speaking of which, please lay your head back in my lap so I can stim by petting your hair again.”

“Ah, I see,” responds Crowley as he settles his head back down into Aziraphale’s lap. “What about me, though? Am I also autistic, in your opinion?”

“No, my dear. You, I feel, have Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD,” answers the angel.

“I see,” responds Crowley. “Isn’t that what makes little kids hyper?”

“Little kids, yes, but it presents differently in adults, such as your inability to focus on the task at hand, sometimes. Like right now, you’re playing on your phone because without it, you’d have trouble focusing on me. Unless, of course, something grabs your full attention, in which case you hyperfocus, and then it’s impossible to pull you away from what you’re doing. You are also impulsive, which can be a symptom of hyperactivity. You’re also rather talkative, not that I’m complaining. In fact, I’m not complaining about any of this at all. I just think this explains why neither of us fit in, in with our respective home offices, and I do think that’s why we acted the way we did towards saving the world, which I’m glad we did.” Aziraphale gently pulls loose the braid he’s been working on in Crowley’s hair.

Crowley turns over in Aziraphale’s lap so that he’s facing the angel and buries his face in his soft belly, wrapping an arm around the angel’s middle to pull him close. He hugs him like this for a minute before pulling loose, just enough, so that the angel can hear him talk.

“You’re probably right, Angel. We probably are these things. I’ve run into the terms before, but I’d never really considered them because I assumed they couldn’t apply to us. But listening to you, I realize that assumption is silly. After all, I long ago came to the conclusion that I was depressed, and you had anxiety. If those issues can apply to us, then surely we can be neurodivergent as well.” He turns his head so that he’s looking at the angle. “Whatever terms may or may not apply, I love you and accept you just as you are. You wouldn’t be you otherwise.”

“Oh Crowley, I feel exactly the same. You are the love of my life, and I wouldn’t change who you are, or the way you are, for anything.” Aziraphale takes Crowley’s hand and brings it up to his lips for a kiss.

“Hmm. What time is it?” wonders Crowley as he checks his phone. “It’s almost one, and you haven’t had lunch. I bet you’re starving. What do you say we run down to the café a block over and get you a bite to eat? I could go for some of their coffee myself,” asks Crowley.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” answers the angel. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes you gotta write the representation you wanna see in the world.  
> I've always seen them as neurodivergent. Though I'm learning I have trouble articulating why. This was a first attempt and I'm not sure I got across what my head sees, but it's better than nothing.


End file.
